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Because I Should Be doing real Work
February 28, 2004, 5:23 PM
12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Must Be Stopped!!
With tongue planted firmly in cheek (so to speak) I offer the following anonymous missive.
- Homosexuality is not natural.
- Much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
- Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children.
- Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.
- Obviously gay parents will raise gay children.
- Since straight parents only raise straight children.
- Straight marriage will be less meaningful.
- since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
- Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all.
- just like women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
- Gay marriage should be decided by the people not the courts.
- because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.
- Gay marriage is not supported by religion.
- In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in Canada (et al.)
- Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay.
- in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
- Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaviour.
- People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
- Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home.
- That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
- Gay marriage will change the foundation of society.
- Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.
- Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name, are better because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional.
- Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
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