Wow
May 24, 2002, 8:52 AM

Gee I have no idea why I worte that word. I don't feel "wow", nothing really is "wow", no "wow" good, no "wow" bad, it was stupid really to do that. I really don't feel like I have anything to say, perhaps this is why I thought I should stop writing in here.

That feels really weird, I guess I have spent to long writing about thing that happen that are bad, or I only write if I'm feeling bad. I have no idea how to "just write" anymore. I use to write about memories, or neat thoughts. did I lose it? like a young child loses the ablity to "play house"? or have I just trained myself to be like this, by having so many poor things happen to me, and then only writing about them?

I find that most of the pages on d-land are full of the unhappy, I just.... I wasn't getting "better" I was caught up in the hype of makeing this page one people would read, I wanted a BIG buddy list, I wanted to have such a good page so I could get reveiwed. it sudinaly seemed like such a watse.

I still want all of those things, but in hearing things from darqueangel a wonderful girl that has been down that road she has a lot emotion and I find myself truning to her at times,and Mawce whose page and life are in a lot of ways what I'd like to have, she talks about life in that way I feel I live it and think about it, however she finds a way to put it all down. And of coures there's My Allanon who has made me see that writing here is what I want and I'll be ok. He is MY rock. I found that I want to write here, so I'm going to try again, and have the will to sick with it.

Anyway, I have to go to work now.

Later Days,
Blaze

I guess I'm on the band wagon!

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