Paying for a Good Day
August 29, 2002, 11:45 PM

Well as things seem to go I had a good day yeasterday, or it was a okish day with moments of goodness, and now after a deal with my boss it's all I can do not to actack my wrists or think bad thoughts about myself. I have been fighting with it all day and I loseing very slowly, which is better than normal (I'll take any sign like that as a good sign) but it's not making me feel very good, espicaly since I thought I was doing so well.

Here is the note my boss left in the store this morning.

(Name of co-worker),
Sorry for the mess but Stephanie did not fold the shirts or re-stock the store yeterday. If I were you I'd trade store with Stephanie and have her clean up in here - but that's your call. Please check all cupboards for stock that isn't out. Clean up the cash desk too. Let me know if you find the rest of the fall harvest product - I can't find it (plates etc...)
Thanks,
DeeAnn(my boss)

now this upset me for a number of reasons.

1. I did put out much stock yesterday, it's hard to know what to do when DeeAnn tells you shit all about anything
2. This letter was written to my co-worker, NOT to me. So DeeAnn is bad mouthing me to my co-workers. not to mention the fact that she still has yet to say anything to me about any of this.
3. There was no note for me telling me how to fix things if I did switch stores, I still didn't know what needed to be put out how the store was to be cleaned more to her liking.

It just upset me so much that I needed to go cry in the bathroom. I'm so upset by this all. I feel useless, stupid, like an ass, unwanted, etc.

I guess it was the powers that be trying to even out the ok days. *sigh* my life goes on. So much for hopeing.

Later Days,
Blaze

last - next