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What a Fool I Have Become
May 17, 2005, 7:07 AM
What a Fool I Have Become
fool
n 1: a person who lacks good judgment [syn: sap, saphead, muggins, tomfool] 2: a person who is gullible and easy to take advantage of [syn: chump, gull, mark, patsy, fall guy, sucker, soft touch, mug] 3: a professional clown employed to entertain a king or nobleman in the middle ages [syn: jester, motley fool] v 1: make a fool or dupe of [syn: gull, befool] 2: spend frivolously and unwisely; "Fritter away one's inheritance" [syn: fritter, frivol away, dissipate, shoot, fritter away, fool away] 3: fool or hoax; "The immigrant was duped because he trusted everyone"; "You can't fool me!" [syn: gull, dupe, slang, befool, cod, put on, take in, put one over, put one across] 4: indulge in horseplay; "Enough horsing around--let's get back to work!"; "The bored children were fooling about" [syn: horse around, arse around, fool around]
Yes, that is, I the fool. I feel that I have (or am) embodying some if not all of those meanings. Poor little Blaze No I take that back, it is really my own fault that I am experiencing the position of said fool. I have set myself up for personal disappointment. I might be thinking that I feel valued, intelligent, able, special, and accomplished however if I truly believed what in what I suppose myself to be thinking I wouldn't be sitting here every morning or most every evening jittery, stressed out, and/or tense.
I got the idea in my head that I was this epitome of virtuosity and yet I cannot seem to be able to break away from old habits or actual self-perceptions. My school work is either taking over the worry center of my brain or it is running away with me at such a rapid pace that I'll never be able to apprehend the work.
Ugh, I am just worn-out from the inside out. I started by making my head think to hard now it's making my body sad. The worst part of all of this is that it seems like my mind is a wire box. As in things have to be big to stay in the box little things cannot stay in if the box moves or gets to full. That fact is hurting my life. I just need some help anyone have a suggestion.
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