This Should Be a Cliche
November 25, 2003, 11:40 PM

It's not that I even feel like writing, but I guess that's the problem. I don't feel anything, I guess I do feel sad, but it's different. Anyway even though it's on my mind I don't want to talk about such things now. I've had a bad day, a Steph day. I guess they really still happen.

Well frist off, I didn't do anything all day, which bites as today I didn't need to worry about classes or work I had the whole day to work on my paper. I even got 3.5 hours all to myself, but I did shit all. I tried to do work at one point, but I could even read, the words didn't make sence. Not in my books, not in my novel (which I've read umpteen times) I couldn't even focaus on reading people diaries or the like. Next thing I knew the day was gone and dark loomed into Allanon's room.

So I felt pretty defeated by this point anyway, I felt sick, I was hot but parts of me were frezzing, my tummy was upset, and I needed to nap, a re-boot if you will. Yet, everytime I got to that warm heavy feeling that sleep was there (not unlike, just before the climax of a much needed orgazim) I would think to hard and snap back to reality.

This last paper is due on the 27th tomoorw if you will, and I blew it. Again.

Did talk to a few people on-line it was nice but my mood just sunk lower. As I was driving home I was thinking about why I feel so pointless, ideas came to me and as I was talking them out to myself this, heavy shlumping, feeling bulit inside me and this one lone tear sliped out of my eye and trailed down my cheek, the most I've cry in a while.

Things did not improve when I got home. The poor old computer, that Allanon gave me to use while I still have no laptop, wasn't working. Dad had brought HIS desktop computer in from school so he could stay home and do paper work (or somthing) so since I was at Allanon's all day he used my moniter, keyboard and the like. Appereantly when he was putting my computer back, the video card sliped into the case.

Now this isn't a big deal, like I said this is an OLD computer and it's missing a few screws, so this has happened before. But Dad didn't call me, instead, he had the computer on and running when to make sure the monter was screwed in tight, pushed the card into the case and set off a spark. The computer shut itself down right there. Dad said he smlet smoke, so he tried to "fix" it, but he didn't know how to take the side panel off, so he took the screws off the ports and tried to go in that way (he lost a screw by the way) at this point he'd being trying to "fix" my computer for an hour.

I get a phone call at Allanon's saying that dad thinks he might have hurt somthing. When I get home I put the card back to to place and boot the computer. It gets to the RAM check... it gets to the ed of the RAM check ... It says WAIT.... Then it doesn't do anything else ... I shut it down. Then I ask Dad what happened and I hear the whole story and call Allanon.

So my backup computer is down for the count too. My 2500 word, 50%, final FILM paper is due on the 27th @ 12:30 PM and a good chunck of my info is stuck on the dead computer. And this is where you find me now. I'm not mad, it just figures. I'm not real sure what I'm going to do, I don't think I matters anyway. But if an of you are friends with the computer gods could you plase ask them to send me a laptop?

last - next