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Time Doesn't Work
September 30, 2003, 3:09 PM
time doesn't work
I think that we should get rid of time. It's just stupid anyways. time fly when your having fun, moments drag when you don't want the too, and then to boot time doesn't stick to any of the 'rules' it stes on it's self.
no this is a random brain blip, I do have a reason for bringing this up. This morning my brain and my life decided it should pack a ton of shit in a matter of and hour or so.
Ok so this was a shitty intro but what are you going to do?
Well back to my morning. I feel blarg, so I'm joust going to do a play but play. FUN!!! I feel like I'm in grade 2 when I hated writing and so for writing time I'd just write out what I did every morning.
- 6:28am
- my stereo alarm goes off. I wake up to lite 96. Can�t remember what song. Then I lie there waiting for the news to come on.
- 6:35am
- News is over but I don�t feel like getting up yet, it�s a good song, so I lie there for 20mins and wish my life could be different
- 6:55am
- Make bed
- Put cat on bed
- do the �I-have-to-pee dance while trying to find my PJ top so I can go to the bathroom
- 7:00am
- walk into the bathroom
- Get my mother morning greeting which today happens to be "you're running late this morning" *note she is very wrong. So far this morning is just the same as every morning style/time wise
- 7:01am
- Hop into shower
- take off PJ top
- Throw PJ top at my mother
- Turn water on
- think about washing my hair
- don�t since I washed it the day before
- start shaving
- Lose interest in shaving, thinking Ill have another shower when I get home and Ill do all that then
- wash my face
- Cheek the time
- Turn water off.
- 7:15am
- get out of shower
- grab towel and start drying off
- tell my mother to move since I need to brush my teeth
- brushing my teeth while listening to the QR77 opinion commentary. Today they are going to talk about the guy that is going to kill him at that "rock" show/concert/thing.
- Mom starts freaking out.
- I tell her she�s a dope for not hearing about it before now.
- I explain to her about the background, And such.
- then she�s done in the bathroom and leaves
- I�m done brushing my teeth so I put my toner on, clean my ears, grab a panty liner, and turn off the radio and head for my room.
- 7:25am
- listen to mom and dad talk
- call the cat
- put cat back on my bed
- put on bra
- put on socks
- put on underwear
- pick out outfit
- put it on
- go make breakfast
- 7:30am Ok fun part
- go get glass
- glass slips
- try to grab fall glass
- no good, glass smashes on the counter while sliceing my finger wide open
- dad yells not to move and comes into the kicthen
- mom follows and states that she's not going near the glass (though nothing is on the floor)
- I get ammused by the fact that dad has shoes on, I'm in my socks, and mom is in bare feet
- mom leaves the scean
- Dad inspeces my finger
- finds a peice of glass in it
- takes it out
- yells at me for having a real deep slice
- tells me to go clean it up
- I wash my hands
- dad Dr.'s my finger
- I go back to my room
- 7:35am
- I have givin up on breakfast for now
- put on my makes up
- do my hair
- give wet wood to the cat
- pack up my bag
- go get breakfast
- 7:42am
- mom stops me on my way to the kitchen
- makes me find the earrings that mach the pin she wants to ware for the day
- I find them and go get breakfast
- she yells at me that I have 5 mins
- I make my slim-fast
- 7:45am
- I curl my bangs
- get my coat
- grab my workout gear
- and mom yells at me that she's in the car
- 7:55am
- mom's mad that she's hit every yellow-->red light
- she yells that she and grandma are to leave at 8:00am sharp (as my grandma is a real bad version of my mother)
- I say "well grandma will have to hold on since that's not going to happen"
- mom ignores me
- 8:03am
- Mom drops me off
- I start my real day
Ok regardless of all that here the thing I'm trying to get at via all this
The fact that I don't care weather this guy kills himself , it's not that I'm ambivalante... I'm cheering him on with flags and yada... but I'm not my mother, I'm like it's ok, it's fine, whatever works for him. Don't get me wrong I'm not 'pro" suicide, but I'm really not anti suicide either. I execpt whatever a persons coice would be, I don't think there going to hell, I don't think it's a 'bad' thing. It's sad and horid, but mostly due to the fact, that I feel bad that a person would hate things so much they needed to end there life sooner than it might end.
As for my finger... Just what a pain now I'm going to have another scar, oh I'm just so mad
Fine I'm out of here
Later Days,
Blaze
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