Dark comforts & Movies
June 24, 2002, 11:25 PM

I was doing alot of thinking today, work was bad as I was working the drugstore it's the haunted store right next to the hotel with the caged off area in the back. I was so board and so upset all day. I really thhought about some very good random thoughts though.

Random Thought #1: Dark Comforts
I spent my break today in this little change room in the basement of Botsford, I even left the lights off and just sat. Doing this got me to thinking about all the times I do this, if I'm feeling really bad/sad/lonly etc... I tend to haide myself away in dark closed places, mostly bathroom stalls. I gather I do this 'cause I get a lot of comfort out of being in small spaces. I know when I was younger I used to hide in our downstaris bathroom, it had a lock on the door (one of 3 rooms in our house that does) and there are now windows, making the room really dark. it's very tiny, and away from everyone. I liked it for all of those reason, plus the fact I could clame I was peeing if anyone came looking for me. I wish I still had a place like that, I feel I need one more than ever, and it's got to be better to hide like then, then cut my arms.

Random Thought #2: Movies
I seem to have this little thing when I watch movies, I think I get into them WAY to much. I remeber a time when I was little I had just finshed watching "the fox and the hound" and I had to go away after the movie. I went into the den, and then I played make belive, pertentnd I was a fox in a cub den. As I've gotten older I don't play at it anymore, but when I watched "lord of the flies" it scared me a lot and I made up a sory in my head that I stoped all the boys from fighting, and I became there best friend or somthing like that. Of coures all of these go into more detail, but this will sufice for now. As for now a days, I do tend to get rater emotional at movies, I cry at toy story. I guess I just really get wraped up in movies, more so than I do it books even, books then to get my brian juices flowing more than anthing. I guess the really funny thing is that I don't get that way about anything in real life, I tend to hide and not cry at anythingI'm sure there are many reasons for this, and I know I'd rather not think about it right now.

Later Days,
Blaze

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