Spewing Frustations
October 22, 2002, 10:04 AM

Well once again I don't know what to write, I'm craving the need to spill my guts in a long, rambling, endless stream of thought, but alas I'm stuck in a rut that I will have to dub writers block, because I'm un creative that way.

I'm feeling better then I was yesterday. I know I wasn't very forcoming with information on why I was feeling so rough, perhaps I'll spew a bit of that now. (there's a lovly mental image for you).

I think my unhappyness from yesterday, can be brought back to my LD's and my giftedness,I might have been able to deal with one, but not both. I mean thank you very much to the powers that be for 'blessing' me with both bittersweet evils, that make me so different that I can't fit in anywhere.

Oh look I'm rambling, go me
*ahem* moving right along...

So yesterday I started the drafting part of my Drama222 lab, I was going to go mad with frustration. You see thanks to my LD's I have no space awarness and no ability to work with Trig. Anyone that has taken drafting, or drawing, knows that you really need to be able to do both on some leval. Now it's not that I'm bad at it, it's that I just CAN NOT do it. My stupid brain has this huge block in it, it would be like telling a deaf person to tell you waht the brids in the moring sound like, they know what you mean, but couldn't do it. OK I can hear the aruments against that one, but you see with being Gifted, it changes the why I look at things. I just don't fit into the system, I CAN'T be "normal". I'm going to cry... *sniff* ok, calmness. Anyway, I didn't get what the prof was doing, I mean I got what it was we were supost to do, and when a coworker walked me through step by step I could do the first part, but I didn't know what to do after that. I hate being so dependent!! I know I'm not stupid, because I get it, I could teach others how to do it, but I can't do it myself. I haven't been that upset since highschool, I didn't like it then and I don't like it now.

I know that no one gets what I meen, which makes it so hard, I can't explian it. If you havn't been there you just can't get it. I think that's part of the reason I feel so alone, when this happens, and I know there isn't anything I can do about it.

Later Days,
Blaze

last - next