Not fun ... but all done!
April 7, 2004, 2:21 PM

Well that's it I am finished one class. Well I will be as soon as I handed this silly paper in. That wasn't fun to write, it was really hard. No direction, completely vague, worth a lot of marks, and it did not help that I had so much to do I only had a week to complete this. Regardless of even if it is one of the worst essays I've written I am out of time tough titties. Since I have already done my presentation, and there is no final exam that's it this class is over. I just have to wait for the final grade.

Moving along

I will be in the air in three hours. My flight leaves at 4:45 PM, that is if it is on-time. To be completely honest I am very nervous. Not that I haven't flown before, just the last time I was on a plane I had just turned 18 and went to Europe and hated every minute of it. Europe that is not the flight. But that was the last time I was on a plane. I love flying, I guess I'm more excited than I am negatively nervous. I will also be flying alone, it's true I flew by myself back from Europe but never going anywhere. It also feels different, I was so desperate to get home from Europe I would've been just as happy to fly via cardboard boxes. And this is my first time on West Jet. All I can hear the gasping now how could I have not ever flown West Jet, well I haven't really had the opportunity to go anywhere. After Europe the next time my family flew was when my brother got sick the first time. I don't think it would've looked very well to say Deanne I can't work the first couple of weeks I have to fly to Ontario. That was not going to happen. I can't afford to take the time off work, I can't afford to miss school, and when I do get time off I just can't afford it.

I'm also really nervous about seeing Ontario again. The last time I was out there was before I met Allanon, and we have been together 4 1/2 years now a lot has changed. Or so I have been told, I just know I have all these preconceived notions in my head about how things are going to be. I mean whose grandparents house has ever really changed from when you were little, not very many or it hasn't changed very much. I went back a few years after my grandfather died and I haven't been back since. I can't help it, but I know I am expecting things. I don't want anything to have changed, and that is completely unrealistic.

My emotions are so conflicted right now. I'm terrible excited, I'm nervous as all blazes, I'm worried, I'm sleep deprived, I'm wired on coffee and drugs (Ritalin that is) I want to be independent, but I know my parents are waiting on the other side. I can't wait to see my grandmother, yet I'm scared about how she has changed about how the houses changed. I have never done change well, and this time won't be any exception.

I won't really have the opportunity to update until Monday. Seeing as I don't get back until Sunday afternoon and then I have Easter dinner with Allanon. I might update Sunday night, but I wouldn't count on it.

I have so many things to say, but I still need to finish packing, go to the University, hand in my paper, go to Allanon's, go to the airport etc. etc.

I don't know how to end this today, I feel like I have so much to say, but it would take too long to explain.

Well I will put this in update and see you all Sunday or Monday. Have a good long weekend.

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