Dam, Hammer, Hope?
March 08, 2004, 9:33 AM

Well it would seem like most people I flock to on the web, I haven't had any interset in updating about my life. And, it would seem, like most people I have had leaps and bounds of things that I could talk about.

So many things have happened in the past few weeks (even in the past few days for that matter). For some reason thought everytime I grumble about the lack of people updating, I think to myself, "why don't you update, you hippocrit" and then I start thinking about all the things I really should/could talk about. The things I should not be letting flop around in my brain (as I'm sure they are hurting me more then helping me.

I have tryed to find a resonable explaination, but everthing I say sounds more lame then the last. Ex. "oh it's all this school work" Truth is I haven't done any school work in so long it's angerfying. "well SOO many things have hapend, I wouldn't know where to start" Give me a break Blaze, i know that it seems overwheming but if that was really the case you wouldn't be sitting here bitching about writing, you would be scaried out of your willys, and doing somthing else to cover it up.

So with many fights in my head, like the above nature, I have no more answers then I did when I started to write this entry. The only thing I know, is that most people (I read) that keep on line accounts of there lives, are in the same boat.

I have read the little entries that they make, and agree that writing feels "funny" right now. I just have no real need/want to. But at the sme time i'm extrmly perpelxed, by it.

Well I'm hopeing (at the very least) that this babble about my frustrations, will break the little dam in my head, and things (aka writing and schooling) will do a 180 and I can feel like I am living, rather then just being alive.

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