Everything For A Reason
March 24, 2004, 12:16 PM

Damn I need to start writing more often. I feel so weighed down right now. Just with everything that has been happening and with everything that I know is coming up, over the next several days. It feels like there is too much, for me to cope properly.

The last couple of days have not been kind too me. Well I am not sure that is completely true. I am so angry. There are so many things that I am not dealing well with, it is giving me So much anger. I know that most of this anger is coming out of frustration. I cannot stand it when I do not understand things. I am sorry that this seems so choppy; I am finding it hard to explain things to myself, so I am not sure how to put them into writing, and convey them [ideas] to others.

I have so many things that I want to do, things that are just for me. I need to find out who I am; I guess that sounds vague, but I am not sure (right now) how to account for my feelings any better then that. If someone knows what I am trying to say, then please clarify it!

I guess this is all happening to me for a reason, I find it hard to think that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes I believe that statement, however, I do not like the idea that I cannot be at least parley in control of things that are happening. That appears to be the way of things, now. Blaze cannot do anything about the crazy junk that is happening to her. BAH!

I do not think I am being coherent. Double Bah!

I wish I could talk about things better. That is one of the reasons, I want to write in here more. When you [I] write more bits and pieces seem to flow better.

Well, enough of this inarticulate prattle, I will try to create brilliance, later on tonight.

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