Random...Staments...Hell...
January 13, 2003, 9:51 AM

I feel like random shit... now that's a statement if I ever heard one, not any kind of shit but random shit. I guess what I mean is I'm not sure how I feel like random shit your not to sure where it's coming from, but you're thinking that it's most likey from more than one place and you know your not really keen on it. And that folks is pure Blaze spewing goodness.

Ok enough of the useless wandering into My world, and on to feeling like random shit.I don't feel ok I feel, well maybe that's part of the problem, is I have no idea how I feel, I want to complain and bitch, but that would be so selfish and wrong of me.I'm having so mnay bad thoughts about how to hurt myself and wanting bad things to happen to me, yet I'm biching at myself about money and people, all kinds of people, my friends, online people, my love etc etc. I'm very mad at myself for thinking these thoughts and being mad. I'm feeling so self invloved, and I just want to cut, scratch, bite, kick, mame, not kill(yet) myself. not that it matters but I made an entry yesterday too you should read it.

Time to go to class and I get to tell my classmate that my Dad tossed out one of her shoes, ugh, silly me for thinking things might get better. I feel worse that I have, and so bared in and traped.... send me to hell, I desiver it.

Later Days,
Blaze

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